The Road to Eternity
by ZaKai
Summary: Alfons has a talk with a very drunk Edward. [Yaoi, EdHei or HeiEd whatever...One Shot]


**The Road to Eternity**

Alfons sighed and put down his pen. He'd been working on this part of the rocket design for the past week and still it wasn't correct. He'd eaten little and slept even less. Reaching his arms up toward the ceiling, Alfons yawned loudly as he tried to stretch out his back. He heard a loud popping sound from his spine, then sagged over the table. Glancing over to the candle, he noticed that it only about an eighth of the candle was left.

Yawning again, Alfons glanced tiredly down at his papers and watched the words and equations all begin to blur together before shaking his head, standing up, and picking up the candle holder. He should just go to bed. The solution wasn't going to just jump out at him from no where and he needed a clear head to think it all through.

As he shuffled tiredly down the hall, Alfons passed Edward's bedroom. The door was open and he glanced inside quickly only to see that his roommate was missing yet again. Alfons looked up with tired eyes. Most likely Edward was on the roof...

Scratching his head, Alfons turned and headed to the window. The roof was a favorite spot for both of them, but more recently Alfons had been too busy to go up there, or rather, he'd been too obsessed with getting his problems worked out in time.

Setting the candle down on the windowsill, Alfons pulled himself out to the fire escape ladder that led to the roof and slowly made his way up. When he reached the top, Alfons wasn't surprised to see Edward sprawled out on the flat rooftop, half empty bottle of alcohol near him, staring at the sky. Shaking he head, Alfons made his way over and sat down beside him.

"Did you figure it out?" Edward murmured with a slight slur.

"No... not yet," Alfons admitted reluctantly. He didn't like confessing that he hadn't figured something out, especially to Edward who would sometimes look at the problem and understand what was wrong almost immediately.

Edward glanced at him and gave him a silly grin before looking back up to the sky, lifting a hand, and pointing to the stars. "Beyond lies the road to eternity, Alfons. It's vast like a child's imagination and pure like an untouched virgin."

Alfons glanced up at the sky quickly, then looked back at Edward, smirked, and snatched the bottle. "I think you've had a little too much of this tonight. Perhaps you should take the road more traveled back down to your room and get some sleep."

Ed frowned at him and grabbed clumsily for the bottle. "I was trying to be poetic, now give that back."

Instead of relinquishing the bottle, Alfons held it higher and said with a laugh, "Your poetry stinks. Stick to mathematics, that's what you're best at."

"I believe it is _you_ who stinks," Ed retorted sourly as he leaned over Alfons's body, trying to grab the bottle. "I thought you'd died down there in that chair since you hadn't moved in days and I was up here trying to decide if I should bury you, cremate you, or use you in my next alchemy experiment."

"I thought you said alchemy doesn't work here," Alfons said then let out a squawk as Edward flopped heavily onto him.

"It doesn't," Edward said, his expression suddenly depressed.

Alfons frowned, suddenly feeling bad for bringing up such a sore spot. "I'm sorry… I didn't mean..." but he never got a chance to finish before Ed reached down and grabbed his groin.

"Or," Edward purred in a sudden change of tone. "I could have just molested your dead body. Promise me that if you die, you'll die with an erection."

"Edward, that's just wrong," Alfons muttered darkly, then tried, unsuccessfully, to push the older, and much heavier, teen off him.

Giving a toothy grin, Edward squeezed Alfons's penis hard enough to elicit a gasp from him, then clumsily lowered himself down, and, in the process, quickly undid the suspenders and pulled down Alfons's trousers.

"You do live!" Ed pronounced drunkenly as he poked at Alfons's hardening cock.

"Stop that!" Alfons hissed and looked around worriedly. Of course, no one would see them on the roof, but you never knew... Instead of doing as he was told, Edward brought his tongue up the shaft and then wiggled the tip of his tongue over the head of Alfons's penis.

"Not out here!" Alfons gasped and moved his hands down with the intent of pushing Edward's head away, only to grab onto it and guide it back down to his groin. He felt Edward's lips touch him, but instead of letting him in, Edward turned his head.

"You really think my poetry sucks?" Edward asked seriously.

"What?" Alfons said, surprised at the change of direction, though why he should be he didn't know. Edward was always this random when he was drunk...

"I mean... that kind of hurt my feelings..."

Alfons stared down at Edward and tried to think of something to say to that. He didn't mean to make him feel bad... "I... sorry... I didn't mean..."

Suddenly he was interrupted by Edward's snorting laughter. "You're such a pussy, Alfons! I was totally joking! Man, you're so much like my brother that it's insane!"

"That's it," Alfons said irritably, letting go of Edward's head. "I'm going to bed." Dealing with Edward was bad enough when he was drunk, but it was really frustrating when he brought up his brother at such intimate times. He'd tried to tell him that it made him uncomfortable, but it was as if none of that mattered when he'd been drinking.

"No, wait..." Edward said, grabbing onto Alfons's pants as he tried to pull them back up. "I'm sorry, you're not just like him, you're totally different... well, not totally, cause you do look a lot alike and you—"

"Let go of my pants, Edward," Alfons interrupted flatly and pulled his trousers out of Edward's grip and buttoned them up. Standing, Alfons said, "I'm going to bed. You should too..." He started walking toward the ladder when Edward's voice stopped him.

"The two of you really are alike..." Edward said softly. Alfons turned around to see Edward sitting with his knees pulled up to his chest and his head buried in them. "Sometimes the two of you are so alike that I react as if you were him. Sometimes I can't stop staring at you because you look so much like him, and sometimes I can't bear to look at you because I know you're not."

Alfons swallowed hard and felt his chest burn with pain. He hated it when Edward got like this. He hated being compared with this imaginary brother of his. He hated feeling like his identity wasn't his own.

Walking over to the bottle, Alfons picked it up. Edward had definitely drunk enough for the night. Shaking the bottle, he watched as the liquid swished around inside, then said, "And what just happened... that because of your brother too?" He felt dirty asking the question, but he hated the thought that Edward had some strange, unnatural attraction to his brother and that he was using Alfons to those ends.

"No..." Edward whispered, his voice full of emotion. "You know that's not it. How many times do I have to tell you that?"

"How many times do you have to bring up your brother when we're together like this?" Alfons asked quietly. To that, Edward said nothing, and they both knew that there probably was no answer to that question.

Alfons looked up at the sky and took a deep breath, trying to calm the hurt inside of him. "I don't know if the stars really are the road to eternity, but I do know they're not the path to your brother." He looked back down at Edward who was now looking up at him looking pitiful and lost. "And neither am I," he finished bitterly before turning and walking away.


End file.
